Hello from Thailand! My name is
Rebecca Townsend and I am going into my senior year as a music therapy student
at the University of Kansas. I love traveling, and this is my 3rd
time outside of the US. I always imagined studying abroad would be part of my
college experience and I just couldn’t pass up this incredible opportunity. I am so thankful to be here!
I hoped this trip would be a
healing process for me, and so far, this has proven true. I had a very rough
spring semester and was in a bad emotional place. I was struggling with
defining who I am and determining what my happiness is. I was lost and
wandering. I needed time away from the people, the environment, and the headspace
that I had come to associate with my depression and anxiety. This opportunity
came at the perfect time.
The culture of Thailand has been
very refreshing. Being immersed in a culture so incredibly different from what
I am used to is cleansing, healing, and eye opening all at once. Throwing
myself into new experiences every day is how I commit myself to continue
working toward my “new leaf” and new perspective that will ultimately raise my
spirits. Things that are very different from American culture, like Waiing (bowing slightly with palms together in greeting), taking shoes off when
entering rooms, bartering for a cheaper price at a market, eating squid, whole
fish, and unbelievably spicy things, and using squat pots are ordinary everyday
occurrences for Thais. It is incredible to think that this is how they live.
None of these things are awkward or uncomfortable – it’s just daily life.
Putting myself in this mindset of a new normal is slowly but surely helping to
morph my outlook into something more positive. While I wouldn’t say I have
culture shock, immersing myself in these very different practices is very far
outside my comfort zone. People find out who they are by being out of their
comfort zone, so I feel that this is a necessary part of my healing process.
To me, the most inspirational
cultural aspect is that Thai people are very welcoming and courteous to each
other and to foreigners. Laughter and smiles are abundant, even among
strangers. They are very happy people, and minimize worries and problems as
much as possible. It is exceptionally encouraging to me to know that so many
people are able to fully embrace happiness.
Last weekend at the beach, for the
first time in a long time I was enlightened to the beauty that surrounded me. This
realization in and of itself was a great step forward. I took many moments to
close my eyes and deeply breathe in the salty air. I was continuously flooded
with disbelief, wonder, gratefulness and other emotions I can’t exactly define.
It was incredible. I began thinking through all the things that are beautiful
that I haven’t been able to see as I worked within myself to reach a new equilibrium
of satisfaction, happiness, and self-acceptance.
There is the very obvious beauty of
the crystal clear blue-green water, white sand, blue skies, aged rock
formations shaped by weather. There is also the beauty in meaningful conversation
that builds friendships, which I have had the pleasure of taking part in with
several members of the group. There is beauty in watching the bustle of the
city and in all cultural differences – big and small. There is beauty in simple
things like those icy washcloths we get on the bus after being outside in the
heat, or seeing the word “connecting” when attempting to FaceTime my loved ones
on the other side of the world. Noticing these tiny things, and reminding
myself to look for the beauty everywhere, is slowly paving my way to happiness
and helping me to find myself.
Through all of this, I am also
realizing there is beauty in the struggles. When we climbed up the mountain to
the Tiger Temple (1237 steps!), I never doubted I could make it to the top. Each step was
progress, and each bead of sweat was proof that I was actively working towards
my goal. My perseverance created at least part of the incredulousness of the
experience. In direct correlation to this, when looking back at last semester,
I am in disbelief that I made it through, yet this experience of struggle is
still valuable to me... The beauty was imbedded in my ability to ask for help,
but even more so in the willingness of my friends, family, and counselors to show me
unconditional love and support without judgment. This realization, again, is
important to my healing: without the struggles, I wouldn’t have had to embark
on this journey to find myself; I wouldn’t have had needed to force myself to
look beyond my problems to realize the beauty that has always been there.
As
a result of being exposed to the unmistakable gorgeousness of the scenery
around me here in Thailand and numerous extraordinary cultural experiences am
now realizing the true saturation of the beauty around me. I am thankful for
the struggles and for my newly opened eyes. My healing process is well underway.
Honestly, what better place
to discover my happiness than in the Land of Smiles?
This is a beautifully written blog -- but I wouldn't expect anything less from my niece! Technology like Facetime is not supposed to be difficult, but for us it is :) I love the blog idea! Seeing Thailand through your eyes certainly put it on my list to visit given the opportunity. Our times of struggle limit our vision for beauty but we tend to appreciate that struggle to say "I made it through" and remember there are beautiful things and people in the world. You are one of them in my life! Keep blogging and I look forward to reading them. Safe travels throughout your trip!
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